Life offers countless lessons that often make us uncomfortable. Discomfort arises when we grow out of a well-known zone into unknown territory. No matter how many times one goes through the cycle, it doesn’t get easier. There is usually some sort of pain or loss involved that is difficult to accept.
I’m of the belief that we all have patterns. People tend to gravitate towards behavior that is familiar. Whether it’s because you don’t know any better or feel it can’t be changed. It’s a trap we fall into, many times, unknowingly. Hard habit to break, as they say.
By nature, women tend to be caretakers and nurtures in relationships. As givers, we relinquish our time, love and attention to the object of our affection. A lot of us will surrender everything until there is nothing left to give. Eventually, it leads to crashing into a painful wall. The lesson in this head-to-head collision? Make room for the woman. Prioritize your needs. Don’t leave yourself behind because you can’t be loved the way you deserve without first loving yourself.
When I began writing AW, I knew the only way women would understand my purpose would be to be honest with my stories. I believe by sharing these experiences honestly, other woman can relate. Seeing through each other’s binoculars can be helpful to connect with one another.
The truth is that I struggle with my own patterns as everyone reading this blog. Choosing to share my challenges is one way of giving myself a reality check of sorts. It keeps me on my toes. Being aware of your own patterns helps break them.
My tendency in relationships is to overextend myself, at times. I give, give and give until there is nothing left for myself. The behavior is well-ingrained in my character. People pleasers often don’t want to disappoint. Guilty as charged. Something, I constantly deal with but have become conscious of which helps me temper the behavior (most of the time).
If you’re battling with a pattern of behavior in your own life. You’ve already taken the first important step – acknowledging the fact that there is an issue. Our brain has the ability to recognize patterns. Despite the gravitational force to go with what isn’t necessarily good for you, choose a healthier alternative. Yes, absolutely possible to do.
I’ve been working on a few things to help me get out of the cycle. Fortunately, it’s easier today because I see when it’s happening. This offers the chance to break the pattern before going on a full spin cycle.
- Awareness is crucial. Being conscious of our patterns helps make better choices. Remain in the present instead of pondering on what you have done in the past. Don’t look back when there is so much to look forward to in the future. Pay attention to your actions, decisions and triggers. Study it. Be honest and open to the truths you see. Love yourself no matter what you find, knowing you can improve.
- Trust your inner voice. Intuition should not be undermined. Leave a window to allow people you trust to help see what you can’t. In addition, cling to the voice within. It lets you know when you are headed for trouble. The red flags are there to see but you have to open your eyes and ears.
- Be the woman you envision. What life do you want for yourself? You deserve a good one that brings to fruition all the dreams you’ve been creating in your journal or in the corners of your mind. Believe that you can have greatness, so you can behave in a way that opens you up to the amazing life that is to come for you.
We’re all a work in progress. I’m on this amazing journey to fortify my inner self. My expectation is that I’m becoming the woman I was meant to be. However, I know that it will not be easy. There will always be a struggle. Constant trip wires along the way will create shaky ground. Despite the challenges, my absolute truth is that I will come out stronger, wiser and better than ever! You will too.
Do you know what your patterns are?
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