Do you know what heartbreak feels like? Have you experienced pain in your heart so strong that the physical pangs make it difficult for you to breathe? Unimaginable torture, residual effect from severed ties.
Love is grand. It makes us feel like astronauts as we walk along the earth wrapped up in the emotion. Placing your trust in the hands of another person in hopes he or she will love you forever. A bit of an unrealistic ideal since nothing in life is permanent, but we roll with it! Imagine shock to the emotional system when the object of affection crushes our heart in a million pieces. Devastation. Joy is now replaced with a shattered image of love. When will you smile, again? How long before the sad songs get old? When does the anguish end? How do you stop the thoughts that persist, the ones reminding you of what you had together?
My greatest heartbreak took a long time to get passed. They say it takes about 1 month for every year together to get over someone. The fallout from my wreckage was ugly but beauty flourished after the dust settled. Acceptance came a couple years after divorce. Realizing, that 10 years of marriage could not be erased, I opted to seek forgiveness. Absolution, not just for my ex-husband but for myself was essential in order to move forward with life. The relationship we shared gave us a daughter and a decade of love. Redirecting the focus to me after the breakup helped the healing. I needed to find out who I was without a partner. Learning to love and take care of myself put life back into my heart. Time took care of the rest.
The expiration of heartbreak has many variables. It comes down to a combination of how vested you are or were in the relationship, conviction to end the torment and your threshold for pain. Setting a timeline waiting for your heart to mend will not improve the process. You have to take control of yourself by overpowering your mind. Yes, the expiry date is living upstairs. Taking hold of your thoughts and actions to manage the situation is the best cure for a broken heart.
It took me a couple years while it may take someone else, months. Truth is, estimates go out the window when we are heartbroken. It will take the time it takes. Do not despair, once you are prepared to let go of the anger, resentment and pain you will have your freedom, again.
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