You can’t help but notice him when he walks into a room. The attention he commands sucks up the energy in your space. Charming, personable, knowledgeable or perceived to be the wiser. This person attracts the masses. The bigger the swarm, the stronger his superpowers. Often times you cannot ignore his magic. He captivates the interest of most women that cross his path. Have you met this man? Simply irresistible.
A narcissist isn’t necessarily the man who admires himself in a mirror all day. He thrives from outside admiration helping inflate the egotistical behavior. Adoration factors heavily into this personality’s mindset. They are often looking to be idolized as it fulfills their exaggerated sense of self-importance.
Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) is mostly found in males. NPD does not need invasive testing. It requires a medical diagnosis by a mental health professional. The condition can last years or a lifetime with no cure. People suffering from it are unlikely to seek help, therefore, it usually goes undiagnosed. The nature of the illness is unknown, further mystifying those who deal with a partner that displays its symptoms.
Living a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally and mentally taxing. You may spend much of your time dealing with your lover’s insecurities. His efforts to portray the confidence of a lion will falter allowing you to see through his act, eventually. An urgent need for constant attention and reassurance will leave you with little energy for yourself. This personality has an ultra-high level of sensitivity to criticism, snapping at the smallest insinuation of being self-centered or behaving badly. He will strongly disagree if accused of selfish or manipulative conduct and often get their way. A combination of mind games can include guilt trips and treating you in a controlling manner to deliver the desired results – always in their favor.
The upkeep for this relationship will be a constant source of distress. Dating or living with someone that suffers from NPD is particularly challenging, as it causes confusion due to the struggles between his persistent need to be noticed and your lack of getting the attention necessary. These partners have a lack of empathy that can lead you to feel like your emotions don’t matter. It’s difficult to decipher whether or not you are receiving true love. This type of man has a tough time loving himself which makes it hard for him to know what it means to give good love. His desire to be validated or treasured is insatiable. It will exhaust you to the point of unhappiness.
If you are under the spell of this type of personality there are actions you can take to get control back. Give yourself a pause to evaluate not only his issues but yours, as well. It is helpful for women in these kinds of relationships to be willing to see how they are enabling a partner. Anyone can accidentally fall into the role of victim, submissive or co-dependent when harboring feelings of not being enough. There is absolutely no shame in doing some internal work to figure out why you are allowing mistreatment. It is never ok, regardless of how much you love someone to let him hurt or make you feel less worthy.
You and your feelings are important. Rise to the greatest level of self-love by asking for respect as an equal in the relationship. If he cannot give it to you then he does not deserve you. Walk away with your head held high because he will never find another like you. Compassion starts with yourself, therefore, be kind to the woman in the mirror. Don’t back down from what you deserve.
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