The world of dating has evolved over the years. Many women feel that gentlemanly customs have been abandoned. Holding a door, pulling a chair, walking her on the curbside of the sidewalk to protect her from the road, offering his coat when it’s chilly outside, are all gestures that demonstrate effort. We want to feel wanted, if a man takes the time to do a little extra work, it makes us feel like he is paying attention.
If you read Yahoo News, Variety, People, Cosmopolitan or you watch NBC’s Access Hollywood or the Today Show, you have already heard of “The Courtship,” a reality dating series with a Bridgerton theme. There is romance, chivalry, love, and even a little drama with the UK countryside, as the backdrop of the fairytale. The leading lady, Nicole Remy, even has family and friends to help her through the process of choosing “the one.” The regency-era dating show has allure, wooing, and dare I say, a little intrigue.
AW sat down with Nicole to discuss romance, love, and the challenges that come from having the attention of 16 suitors vying for her love.
Firstly, how does it feel to have 16 men competing for your love and attention? I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! Everyone wants to be desired and sought after. Having 16 guys from the start is amazing. It is also humbling because it isn’t typical, of how we date, it is very different.
I’ve seen “The Courtship,” there are lots of dating series’, each one has something for everyone. Why did you decide to do this particular show? What about it appealed to you and how is it different than other shows in the same genre? You said it – it is romance, chivalry, and charm. I came into wanting to find my forever person, looking for love and a partner. The opportunity was presented to me with the idea to live in a castle, wear these awesome dresses and have the men court me. Not only, would I be dating 16 guys but they all get to meet my best friend, my sister, and my parents on the first day! I did it and I lived to tell about it!
“The Courtship” has fantasy, chivalry, and a little drama? These guys are very attractive, the testosterone in the air is thick. You pair that with my real feelings and theirs, drama is going to happen, which you will see, as the show progresses.
Many women spend so much time looking for their fairytale love. I think it looks different for everyone. It is a journey, where we find out a lot about ourselves and what we want. What have you learned about yourself during this part of your journey? Great question! I went into this as an indecisive person, and I still am, but when it comes to something that means a lot to me, the decision is easy. When it comes to choosing a guy and having feelings for him, it’s easier for me to decide. Feelings come from the heart. I am going with my guy with no regrets because I felt so strong and confident about it.
You had a choice of 16 men! They were of different races, backgrounds, personalities, and physical attributes. What surprised you the most about the men that you got to know? The thing that surprised me the most was how down they were to be part of this fantasy and fairytale with me. Most guys would think “I’m too cool to dress up this outfit or ride a carriage.” I believed my guy is there, if he can be vulnerable in that space, he can be vulnerable with me.
They say, “Chivalry is dead.” I have written about about the topic. I believe there are men willing to treat you with kindness, respect, and “treat you like a lady.” The Courtship is all about bringing chivalry back to modern dating. Going forward, after having this experience. What is one thing, you know for sure about men? I would say that men have a very difficult time opening up to share how they feel. But if you make them feel comfortable, you can gain that trust to help them get there. This has been a hallmark of all my relationships. The men in my relationship have not opened up to me, making it hard to know where I stand.
Guys are capable of chivalry, and I would love to see more of it. Some men and women, see courteousness as being “too nice.” It should be normalized, not weird, to help encourage men.
What is your deepest home at the end of this journey? I came to the show to find love. However, it is important to help women feel empowered. As I dance with the men in the show, I share with them, what I need from the relationship, which we don’t typically do. What is so beautiful and not regency about this is how my modern-day, female independent woman takes charge in this old fashion world. We have to tell people how we feel, in relationships, in the workplace, with family, and with friends. Be more honest and open with everyone.
I like to end AW interviews with a positive message to inspire others. Since we have been talking about dating, can you offer some advice to give hope to the single ladies out there that think chivalry is dead? All of us, men and women, need to speak into existence. It’s not going to live if we’re not giving it a place for it to flourish. Treat people with respect, to get respect. We should be encouraging each other to be more open, vulnerable, chivalrous, and romantic. When you are on a date, don’t spend the night on the phone. Instead of going to a bar, why not on a long walk, learn to ride a horse, try a boat ride. Do things that include just the two of you. The locations you see in the show are beautiful spaces to foster a much deeper relationship because you are able to spend time with that person. Making eye contact without technology around leads to more connection, we are losing so much of that today. Ladies believe in the romance of all of it!
Dating takes effort, it is challenging to allow ourselves to be seen in our realness. A man who takes notice of your needs; treats you with respect, and honors you may be worth a second look. The desire to be courted and have someone flatter you with attention is not only wonderful, but you are also deserving of it.
In a time of cynicism, Nicole Remy took a chance to find her love. She stepped into this fictional show with a modern attitude. This leading lady is willing to ask for what she needs and deserves. In any world, that’s called knowing your worth.
This interview has been condensed for clarity.*
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