2 Ways to Tell Whether She is Friend or Rival

Growing up in a household of mostly females, I still have trouble understanding the complexity of female relationships. During my lifetime I’ve known women who have enjoyed incredible friendships with other women, me included. My squad is small but we provide each other the necessary support to get through life’s challenges. Near or far, no matter how much time and schedules intervene we always find a way back to each other.

Female relationships are a tangled web at times. People seem accepting of the idea that two women cannot get along if they’re in competition. Regardless of environment, a snarky attitude can surface among females at any given time. Is it a total misconception? Not entirely, there is some truth to the notion that we have a difficult time working together at some capacity. I must point out this is absolutely not always the case across the board.

Throughout our lifetime we meet many women. While some connections bloom others will become null and void or pretend friendships. The pretend friends are those we share an amicable relationship with despite the nagging feeling they aren’t “true blue.” These friendships are fundamentally flawed. “Frenemies” never truly share in the happiness you feel when great things happen in your life. Your success is likely to do the contrary creating quiet resentment or jealousy. They will use sporadic opportunities to give you backhanded compliments. One of the most common actions is to offend then soften the blow with the “I’m totally joking” comment attached to it.  Deep down these individuals are full of insecurities which they try to mask by ballooning their sense of self. This will allow them to feel better about themselves. Stealing your thunder makes them powerful. Don’t be mistaken they’ll assume the role of a friend, standing in for you at your worst moments to make it look genuine. However, their friendly stance is used as a way to learn your weaknesses and inadequacies. You can be sure these will be weapons to hold on too for future rival moments when she needs to rise to the spotlight. It is a toxic relationship that you might have trouble eliminating from your life because of the blurred lines. You will know who these women are and setting boundaries is mandatory to avoid being pulled into the negative vortex.

The “null and void” connections with women are fleeting meet and greets. They don’t stick around long enough to evolve outside of a brief introduction to someone. I see these as bridges to the next phase elevating knowledge or awareness.  It’s possible to learn something big or small from the short cameos. Female influences are present from a young age touching our lives. Lessons can be found throughout the process of building all types of relationships.

Authentic friendships impact our lives the most. They encourage us to nurture supportive, caring and strong bonds with other women. These relationships go through a unique set of challenges as any other. Women share experiences at different times related to love, family and career. They’re likely to hold each other down not only becoming stronger but wiser. The exchange of information and knowledge helps to empower, inspire and further personal growth. There are 2 ways that will define the moment these women enter your lives.

  1. She will celebrate your wins as if it’s her own victory. A friend will always tell you the truth, especially when you don’t want to hear it. The advice offered will be in good-will and well intended which she hopes you accept. However, if you don’t and the house of cards comes crashing down – she won’t criticize your decision.  This will be the friend that remains by your side to pick up the pieces when all is said and done. No words necessary.
  2. She encourages you to be the best version of yourself. Her unconditional love and support will get you through anything because she loves you for exactly who you are without judgment.

Healthy, honest female friendships exist. These strong, long-lasting relationships will accompany you on life’s journey. Tears of laughter and joy will long be remembered once the seasons have changed dozens of times over. If you’re lucky to have one great friend or a group of good friends – cherish, enjoy and extend the kindness to other woman deserving of experiencing authenticity.

“Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.”  ― Brian Tracy

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