Never Forget It.
Have you found yourself settling for less than you deserve? Accepting what’s given to you instead of asking for what you want in a relationship, career, life? Why do we allow others to damage our well-being by making us feel less than? Worse, tricked into thinking boundaries are being overstepped. You don’t have permission to demand more of others and yourself. How dare you ask for more?
We stay longer than we should in unhealthy relationships. Putting up with mistreatment diminishing self-worth. Let others’ opinions and judgmental attitudes make us feel we don’t merit better. Have you ever thought “I’m a good person doing the best I can but it’s never reciprocated? Why am I treated like I don’t matter?”
I spent a lot of my younger years investing time and energy into people who took more than they gave in every way. The individuals, relationships and situations invited into my life drew me into conflicts that were emotionally damaging to the point of creating physical distress. The combination of believing in people’s potential and not demanding respect was a symptom of a bigger problem. These were an indication of my lack of self-worth. I didn’t understand my actions fed the toxicity.
What saved me from myself? The realization that “I Am Enough.” Learning that I have a right to ask for more if needed. One of the strongest, most empowering and beautiful words you can recite. The key in using them effectively? Believing that you are, in fact – enough.
We all have experiences that have made us feel shame, hurt, sorrow, regret or anger. Life’s trajectory takes you to places not always pretty. People live imperfect lives. There are moments backing you into a corner. It might seem like hiding or playing someone else will make it all go away. Whether out of guilt or humiliation, it is human nature to look for ways to bury the misery. Over time you can lose track of yourself, making life quite difficult. If you don’t know who you are, if you can’t see the value in yourself. How can anyone see it? They don’t. For too many women, this integral piece goes missing or lost from the time of birth. The damage at such young age can be immeasurable.
Everyone carries some type of baggage that can leave scars. We’re thrown into environments not by choice but circumstance. The world around will lure us into a thinking we’re inadequate because we don’t measure up to what we “should be”, according to most standards. It can give us a false sense of unworthiness. Eventually, feeling you aren’t enough becomes the new normal.
Changing the mindset is crucial to coming out of the rut. Removing yourself from thinking you are not worthy of good takes work when you don’t know any different. Learning to be kind, compassionate and loving to yourself is the biggest part of healing this pain. We become what we believe. Therefore, eliminating the external opinions of who we are and replacing them with our own, sets off a process of transformation.
No one is free of mistakes or bad decisions. We’ve all taken steps we wish to retract because they’ve hurt other people or our own state of wellness. Sometimes, we don’t get a choice because we’re thrown into circumstances that shortchange us. But the damage doesn’t have to be permanent. The most valuable piece of advice I’ve been given?
The past does not define you. You define you. You aren’t less lovable because of the scars or labels you’ve worn in life. Recreate and envision the woman you are meant to be. You are enough and ready to show your beautiful glow. Fill your heart with love and life with goodness. Appreciate the woman who has gotten you this far. Take pride in how she’s arrived at this moment ready for the next phase of her life. You are love in abundance. Carry it with you everywhere you go.
You are enough.
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