Should You Friend Your Ex on Social Media?

Scrolling through her phone, there it was – a pop up DM from a ghost. Jen’s blast from a past left behind a decade ago. A chapter burned to ashes with no regrets. Parting of ways was amicable, yet the decision to friend him or not wasn’t a clear cut call. Would you accept or decline an invite to friend an ex online?

Social media, whether we like it or not is here to stay. Most areas in our lives are influenced by various social outlets. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are in every corner of the world. It’s close to impossible to avoid it these days. The oversaturation is noticeable and affects human behavior from how we interact with one another to how we shop, date, vote, do business including managing our money. Every action leaves a digital imprint of our identity. Technology is having such an impact on society that new careers are being created to keep up with demand. Our kids will be thinking about becoming influencers or building careers as a brand, digital or content marketing manager, as well as, social media analysts or specialists. During this digital age, anonymity is a luxury that gets harder and harder to maintain. You can run but you can’t hide, as they say. The reality is that accessibility is growing at warp speed while our privacy is shrinking.

Jen’s ex located her online but she has a say in reconnecting or not. She is control of the decision to accept the virtual friendship. The deciding factor? Likely her feelings about where she is in her life, the level of curiosity as to what happens if he enters her world again and would there be something in it for her? They broke up on good terms, so there is no solid reason she could give herself to decline the invite. Her love for him no longer lingered in any part of her being. She was freed from all feeling that put her in emotional jeopardy.

Jen’s reasoning “What harm could it do?” whether logical or not, didn’t matter. Although he is not a part of her life anymore, he represented a happy time. She cracked open a window assuming the door to anything else remains closed. Jen has the power to keep him out, as do you.

If you’re debating whether or not to friend an ex on social media, I’d suggest you think about these points:

1. Did the breakup happen on the best of terms? Or did toxicity lead to its demise?

2. What will you get out of reconnecting? Ask yourself the reasons you would want this and be honest.

3. Where are you in your life? Do you want a reintroduction? Why?

Only you have the answer key and know if this is good for you in any way.

Will you accept the invitation to friend?

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