The Secret My Mother Never Told Me…

The relationships we have with our mothers have a significant impact on us growing up. We look to the matriarch of the family, not only to teach us how to be a woman. She shows us the first examples of how to manage relationships with our partners, children and ourselves.

All relationships take work because things don’t magically come together with others. Communicating eachother’s desires and exchanging ideas become challenging when there are opposing sides. This is the case with anyone, especially mom. There is an incredible amount of love flushed into a child-mother relationship. The love is intense, when it isn’t flowing right it hurts more.

My relationship with my mom isn’t perfect but show me one that is without flaw. We’ve all encountered differences of opinion leading to plenty of misunderstandings. There are peaks and valleys in love’s mountainous terrain but I continue to climb uphill with her help to reach new heights. She has given me more than I can express aside from life. My mom has instilled values in me that make me a better human being. My resilience and belief in what I can do comes from a deep sense of her love. Although, I have made mistakes that led to self-doubt and insecurity. Her love has never faltered, neither has her conviction that I am meant for greatness.

Despite her efforts to teach me everything she knew about being a woman. Something was amiss in the lessons of womanhood and parenting. My mom’s selfless love for her children while raising a family created a beautiful bubble but did not leave room to branch out on her own personal journey. The secret she did not share had to do with her biggest sacrifice for us. The loss of her identity as a woman was the price she paid to be a mother and wife. I could never have understood the relinquish of power until today.

I have been a wife and am a proud mom of a beautiful girl. There are unspoken sacrifices women are expected to make in the name of love but times have changed. We don’t have to give up our identity to be a great caretaker. Our job is to nurture and care for our loved ones but also teach them to be self-sufficient and independent people. Giving up self-care does not make us better mothers or wives. I believe it’s to the contrary, finding our happy will create a healthier, more balanced you. It is constant work to maintain a happy medium. Our nature is to give it all to our babies.

Mother’s day is a time many families use to celebrate the moms in their lives. I suggest you take a moment to do something to remind yourself of the importance of loving yourself, too! Happy Mother’s day, Ladies.

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