Women everywhere will be familiar the concept of a man with ”potential.” Heck! Let’s be real, at any of the love stages, some have more than held it down in a relationship while waiting for change. Plenty of women have inadvertently, made a second career out of trying to fix what’s broken. Have you ever been exhausted by the task of building a man up to what you think he could be? Shape him into the ideal partner.
This is the guy working on himself, constantly without taking any true action to improve his life. The one that makes you feel inclined to hold his hand through life. There is no problem with giving a man your support by being there in his moment of need. However, becoming a crutch, enabling him to the point he is not productive is unacceptable. Whether it’s running his job search, financing his life or trying to pinpoint the root of his deep emotional issues, it can all be damaging to you long term.
It’s common for women to have an innate desire to feel wanted or needed. Out nurturing side often dominates how much of ourselves we are willing to relinquish. Taking care of the ones we love becomes our greatest priority, too often putting our needs on the backburner.
Men have been known to give up a part of their lives to raise a child as a single parent or put a significant other through school which is perceived as honorable. Women, on the other hand, are expected to make all types of sacrifices in the name of love and family. Working off this double standard is a tall order. We feel responsible to make things work with a husband, boyfriend or significant other at any cost. The matriarch is supposed to keep things together against all odds. Growing up, we may have seen our mothers exercise similar behavior. Tolerating more than their share to keep a clan united, sometimes means looking for potential in a hopeless situation.
People will fool themselves into seeing potential where it doesn’t exist. Believing you can change a person is the first mistake. He can be the great man you see if he works on a few things. Iron out his kinks, right? Has the thought crossed your mind?
No one is without flaw, there are always challenges. We are human. It’s expected that from time to time our partners will require support of some kind. But when the help you provide deceives you, thinking he is something he isn’t then it will create problems. In order for greatness to take place a few things must happen. An individual has to want change and there needs to be a foundation to build on.
Potential is possibility, it is the chance for someone capable to do more. Keep in mind, the person should perform from a position of strength. It is key he have the will to work, determination to succeed, drive to be better and have a desire to grow. No one can be what you want, he or she has to want it for themselves.
Be honest about what he brings to the table because potential alone will not make him into the man you deserve.
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