Dinner Reservation for One

A decade of marriage delivered many lessons. One of my favorites – wait for no one. There will be exceptions and situations where the rule doesn’t apply. However, I’ve placed a bookmark on this one.

We couple up for different reasons love, loneliness, boredom or LOVE. The hope is that we find a special someone during our search for connection. If we’re lucky to make our way to that awesome relationship we take it all in enjoying every second with our partner. Sometimes so much that we throw ourselves in forgetting to honor our personal needs and wants. While married, I devoted all my time and energy to family, as most of us do. I neglected or delayed doing things I liked to make others happy. I waited on others so I wouldn’t have to do alone or to be there when needed.

Post divorce, I told myself it was OK to be a little bit selfish. Enough to treat myself to a dinner at a nice place I’ve wanted to go. Take a trip or see a show that I’ve been wanting to attend. Life is short we should do the things we want when possible, tomorrow is not promised. Following that idea, last week I made a reservation for one on my Opentable app. In the mood for Italian, I picked a place with all around great reviews. It was a cozy and quiet Italian restaurant in Midtown East. The spot was perfectly charming for a date. It had low lighting, white linens on the table with well dressed waiters. My solo date gave me the chance to indulge in good meal while I people watch. It was a Friday night in June and couples were out on the town.

I sipped my glass of French Rose while observing two couples across my corner table. Needless to say it caught my attention. The elder couple looked engaged in conversation. Their eye contact was obvious while they talked up a storm. The younger couple, probably early 30’s sat across one other without so much as a glance. They were typing away on their smart phones right up until the food arrived at the table. How many times have we seen this display of PDA? NOT. There is nothing affectionate about this scene. Unfortunately, it is becoming more and more common. This new normal is leading to  serious disconnection. Human beings need connection whether by conversation or touch. So, we must to ask ourselves are we allowing technology to take priority over our relationships with our husbands, wives, partners and children? If this is the case, doesn’t it call for us to take some type of action to save the relationships in our lives? Whether that can be done by forbidding electronics at the dinner time or removing it from the bedside table each night. We need to hold ourselves accountable for our part in the breakdown. Communication is key to helping make partnerships work better.

Giving and receiving undivided attention in small increments can rescue us from permanent disconnection. It might even save you from losing someone you love.

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