I recently came across a story about emotional cheating. A couple had been experiencing problems in their relationship. During this troubled time, one spouse uncovered the other’s emotional affair with a colleague at work. Although, intimacy was restricted to texts and conversations. The affair that took place was severely damaging to their marriage. The reality is it can happen to anyone sometimes completely unintentionally. We all have a need for human connection. If we’re unable to link up with the partners in our lives we can become vulnerable. Gravitating towards people and situations that will fill that void.
Have you ever felt ignored or invisible to your spouse, lover or partner? Have you experienced the person you love most being so consumed by his or her life that you no longer connect? Do you feel lonely even if your partner is in the same room with you? Men and women need connection. Believe it when you hear “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” Men’s need for connection can be satisfied with physical contact, as can women’s. However, it is common to hear that we look to talk everything out. We want to discuss our emotions until our guy is ready to run for the hills! Of course, there are those exceptions. I’ve known women who don’t feel the need to talk anything out. Their emotions are kept under lock and key. Everyone must do what works best for them. However, it’s important we don’t minimize the emotional part of a relationship because it can serve as the glue when you encounter rough waters.
Woman are intuitive, not only can we feel the sinkholes. When we pay attention to the red flags that may indicate trouble we can prevent sinking ships. Being aware of emotional infidelity can avoid the implosion of a relationship. There will be those that believe cheating requires being physically intimate with someone other than your significant other. While others will argue cheating does not have to include physical contact. It might actually be worse to be emotionally involved as it creates a deeper bond.
If you find yourself investing significant emotion in someone else outside your relationship. Maybe ask yourself why you feel the need to rely on this other person for emotional support instead of a partner? If you are scheduling large pockets time to meet this other friend in person or communicate on text or phone consistently. You may have to wonder what is it he or she offering you that is missing from your own relationship? If your union is going south but you’re more concerned about what it would be like to be single with the chance of dating this friend. Or you’re comparing what one might give you over the other then it’s time to re-examine your feelings without rushing into any hasty decisions.
Relationships take work and effort on both sides. Challenges will test your will to stay making the grass look greener on the other side. It can be easy to fall for someone else’s attentions when feeling vulnerable or lonely. The only way to work through it is by being honest with yourself. If you see the smoke signals up ahead there is a chance to avoid the fire. An emotional affair is just as painful to those we love. We are offering a physical presence in the relationship without being vested emotionally. Boundaries can be set so that we lay out some ground rules to protect ourselves from suffering as well as a loved one.
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