How to Ask for What You Want in 3 Steps

The word “No” has great power. It’s a word capable of instilling fear in the strongest of women. Sometimes so much, it hinders us from reaching for the things we want most. The terror of rejection can hold us back from a simple ask.

Whether on a professional or personal level, I believe as women we are discouraged from asking for what we want, even when it’s merited. Men are trained from a young age to ask away. Really! Many of them seem to demand as if they are entitled. Bold, fearless and daring often delivering the results they look to accomplish in many areas of their lives. He is labelled confident, self-assured and ruler of the world.

As women, we’re afraid to be turned down. We shoot ourselves down during the attempt to ask. Others will break barriers by daring to be assertive enough to ask for what they deserve. She might be perceived as greedy or worse if she steps up to the plate.

The world around us has vastly changed. However, society and certain groups’ mindset lags in the progress. Mind over matter. We need to have faith in the belief that we deserve more. Know that asking for the things desired in any area of life is justifiable, as long as you are willing to do the work. Whether at work, home or in a relationship.

Take your power back. Asking for what we need or want is a part of life for all of us. These simple steps will help but it’s essential that you’re certain of what you want. Prepare yourself mentally in advance of receiving it.

1. Living outside of fear can take you to heights unknown. Being scared is normal and happens to everyone. You must ask with conviction removing self-doubt. What’s the worst that can happen? Someone says “No” then we move on. You will never know the possibilities until you try.

2. Believe you deserve what you are asking for. If you feel worthy, you won’t settle for less. This will prepare you to accept it when it comes. Be honest and fair. We genuinely know in our heart of hearts what we deserve.

3. Don’t set limits or assume that what you want has to look a specific way. Don’t demand for it to happen at a certain time. Ask without predictions of how and when it should arrive. Let life unfold but ask with persistence and certainty that you will obtain it.

A few years ago, a friend said to me, “You don’t ask, you don’t get.” I have made it my mantra. I’m also teaching my daughter to help her be assertive when asking for the things she wants and needs in life. Hopefully, reading this will inspire you to try the same.

“Protected content. 2018”


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