Women are keepers of all kinds of secrets. There is a vault of emotions kept close to the vest helping ensure our microcosms stay intact. Unhappiness, pain, frustration, fear, insecurity, and suffering all simmer beneath the delicate feminine quilt upheld for appearances. Preserving the gracious silence to avoid rocking life’s boat is our specialty.
Plenty of women live day to day carrying the weight of a home. Caring for a tribe can be physically and emotionally challenging. Numbing your dreams and goals to prioritize a home, partner, and family is a duty fulfilled for the sake of love. It is not only the expectation of what should be done. Women are trained for the role from a young age.
Often, the self-neglect that forms is mind-boggling. You can feel yourself sinking into nothingness, so much that you don’t recognize who you are anymore. You cannot find your voice, nor does he desire to hear you out sometimes. Husband, boyfriend, fiancee, or significant other left clueless about the reservations their partner may hold. The thing that many men don’t get is, that what women want most in return for love’s sacrifice is to be seen and heard.
Relationships require an ongoing effort from each partner. Ideally, an exchange of needs and wants should be shared between you. However, it doesn’t always work out that way but there is room for improvement. AW does not speak for all women. The thoughts expressed are from personal experience as a female who has played the part of girlfriend, fiancee, and wife at various points in life. One of the lessons learned which I try to remember is that men, neither own a crystal ball nor are intuitive by nature. From time to time they need a little assistance to understand a few things.
Guys, if you happen to be reading, we want you to know:
1. Chivalry is Appreciated: It would be nice if you held the door, pulled a chair, or said something nice as a way of letting us know how you feel. Make us feel special, we are sure to do the same for you every chance we get.
2. Listen: We know men can get lost in the details. Rambling off a story or problem at 50 words per minute is inefficient. First, you tend to only hear what you want. Second, your short attention span forces the mind to wander after minutes.
Ladies, my suggestion to help men listen better? Let’s use the pause button to assist the process. Steer clear of emotional and intense rants, they are rational beings who don’t answer well to hysteria. Think and gather what you need to say in advance to give you the best chance to be heard. It is not 100% effective but maybe we can try doing things differently to see if it works better.
3. Our Dreams Matter Too: We love supporting our men and their vision but our dreams are just as important. If we’re more fulfilled as individuals then we are more likely to feel happier. Have you heard “A happy wife is a happy life”? The statement applies to various scenarios. Do you get the drift? Women have their own thoughts and goals and want to be recognized as people, too.
4. Women Don’t Have an On/Off Switch: Women are perceived to be more emotional than men. Plenty of affection and attention in preparation to embrace an intimate moment. Do not mistake us for machines or robots that can start and stop on a whim. We don’t really function that way.
5. Women are Not Pseudo-Moms: We are not your mothers or caretakers, look at us as partners in life. Walking alongside you is our preference, equally invested in the relationship. Women did not come this far to follow footsteps behind a man, as it would set us back decades.
Ladies, if you have not already done so, find the inner confidence to tell your men what they need to hear. You have a responsibility to express yourself. Share thoughts in a timely and constructive manner to assist your mate in better understanding your needs. Hopefully, it brings a higher level of closeness to the relationship.
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