Breakups are not for the faint of heart. This parting of ways can be painful, so emotionally draining that it will suck the life out of its victims – if you let it. Despite the trail of despair left behind, we survive its aftermath. In fact, in most cases, men and women move on to enjoy happy love lives. The life-changing event has the potential for so much growth if you allow yourself the space to embrace it. Moving forward with resolve, and forgiveness.
As soon as a split happens, everything begins changing. Facing our truths is always a difficult task but it doesn’t mean we are ready to do the work required for healing. Once a decision is made to begin this part of the journey, it can result in wonderful discovery. Breakups can be empowering, if you take the lessons, it can make you a better and emboldened version of yourself that flourishes. Loss of any kind hurts but if you are willing to look for the takeaways, you will find gold! I would not be the woman that I am, were it not for the lessons learned from my breakups.
Some of the lessons being shared may help change your perspective if you or someone you know is going through the ordeal. Once the dust settled, I was able to see it.
- You can’t give, what you don’t have.
- Self-care is not selfish.
- True happiness starts with you.
- Your dreams matter.
- Embracing everything you are will get you closer to the woman you’re meant to be.
Heartbreak can have a devastating effect on our psyche. No one walks into a relationship thinking it’s not going to work then life happens. Love is grand but takes two people to nurture it. Both partners must be vested to give the relationship the best possible chance. Getting things right starts with making the decision to love and respect what you have together. Despite the dedication, love doesn’t always work. If that is your case, the most important thing to do, once things have ended is to take the lessons with you, once this part of your life is over. I have an entire volume of them to be grateful for in life.
Women are caretakers by nature, giving it all to make loved ones happy. Oftentimes, the sacrifices consume our identities, leaving us depleted emotionally and physically. We give up limitless amounts of ourselves which are not only unhealthy, they can force the best of us into mental exhaustion. Understanding that your tank must be filled before helping take care of others is essential.
Learning the value of self-care has been an amazing find. It’s not selfish to take care of your needs, it is required. Nurturing personal well-being improves overall health. Maintaining a balance between the mind, body, and spirit promotes strength. Life can be overwhelming but making sure to set aside time for yourself is a life-saver.
If your happiness is bound to any one person, it means that if he or she walks away, so does your wellness. You are enough and possess the power to shape your own happiness. A partner can complement and add to your life but should not be everything. Your dreams are important, letting go of them to fulfill another person’s in place of your own eventually leads to resentment or dissatisfaction. You can choose to delay or change your goals but do not give up on them because you matter, too.
Life is filled with challenges. We are bound to make mistakes, it’s how we learn. Guilt, shame, or embarrassment can crush the spirit and make us feel less worthy of more. The foundation of becoming the best self is at the heart of everything. Loving who you are including the battle scars is at the core of the work you do after any painful event.
The long trajectory left me with wisdom that remains with me until today. The strength, wisdom, and determination gathered from these experiences helped me create a new life on my terms. The past does not define who we become, only you can do that! Women are resilient. They demonstrate it over and over, despite decades of repression. Don’t be discouraged, use the enlightenment to reimagine your life as you want it then pursue it. Create your vision, and use your lessons, as inspiration to become a better you.
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