Life offers countless lessons that often make us uncomfortable. Discomfort arises when we shift from a familiar territory into the unknown. There is usually some sort of pain or loss associated that makes it difficult to break patterns. No matter how many times we go through the cycle, growing pains are never easy. I believe that we all have patterns and tend to gravitate towards behavior that feels comfortable. It’s a trap that men and women fall into, frequently. Habits are hard to break, as they say.
By nature, women tend to be caretakers and nurturers in relationships. As givers, we relinquish our energy, time, love, and attention to loved ones. Plenty of us have surrendered everything until there is nothing left. Eventually, it can lead to crashing into a painful wall. The lesson in this head-to-head collision? Make room for the woman. Prioritize your needs. Don’t leave yourself behind because you can’t be loved the way you deserve without first loving yourself.
I struggle with my patterns as do many of you. Choosing to share my challenges is one way of holding myself accountable. It keeps me on my toes. My tendency in relationships is to overextend myself, at times. I give, give, and give until there is nothing left for myself. The behavior is well-ingrained in my character. People pleasers often don’t want to disappoint. Guilty as charged. Something, I constantly deal with but bringing awareness to the problem is helpful to manage the behavior, most of the time.
If you’re battling with a pattern in your life that does not serve you, don’t despair. You’ve already taken the first important step – acknowledging there is an issue. Our brain has the ability to recognize and change them. Despite the gravitational force to go with something that may not necessarily be good for you, choose a healthier alternative.
I’ve been working on things to help me get myself unstuck. Fortunately, it’s easier nowadays because I recognize the unraveling of toxicity. This gives me a chance to break the pattern before going on a full spin cycle.
- Awareness is crucial. Being conscious of our patterns helps us make improved choices. Remain in the present instead of pondering on what you have done in the past. Don’t look back when there is so much to look forward to in the future. Pay attention to your actions, decisions, and triggers. Study it. Be honest and open to the truths you see. Love yourself no matter what you find because these are all parts of you.
- Trust your inner voice. Intuition should not be undermined. You can leave a window open for people you trust to help see what you can’t. But listen to the voice within. It tells us when you are headed for trouble. The red flags will show themselves but you have to keep your your eyes and ears open.
- Be the woman you envision. What life do you want for yourself? You deserve a good one that brings to fruition all the dreams you’ve been creating in your journal or in the corners of your mind. Believe that you can have greatness, so you can behave in a way that opens you up to the amazing life that is to come for you.
I’m on this amazing journey to fortify my inner self. The expectation is to become the woman I was meant to be. The path is never simple, challenges will present themselves. Despite the problems, my absolute truth is that I will come out on the other side, a stronger, wiser, and improved me! I am a work in progress and will continue to do the work, one step at a time.
Do you know what your patterns are?
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