Has anyone ever told you – you’re perfect just the way you are? Honestly, you’re not. Neither am I. The reality – no one is. The statement, although kind is not truthful. These words can be misleading. The idea of being perfect at all seems ludicrous. Of course, I say it now after going through a significant mental and emotional transformation. Coming full circle meant acquiring the balance to help me accept there is no ideal.
I grew up in a reasonably strict household with both parents. My mother was the disciplinarian. She took the role seriously, encouraging me by setting high expectations. Mom pushed education to the top of the priority list. Her belief that anything less than a perfect grade was not good enough put pressure on my plate. A strong sense of personal pride and work ethic only strengthened with time. The combined stress of meeting expectations and never disappointing was very difficult to manage internally. A practice I carried with me into my adult life. Time and experience demonstrated it was impossible to keep up the facade.
I’ve spent a lot of time covering up the cracks in my life. The desire to draw a perfect picture for the world to see has been exhausting. Those closest to me saw through to the charade making my efforts worthless. My marriage was not only less than perfect it kept me confined to a persona that deep down made me unhappy. The fraud would eventually be exposed for what it was. Thankfully we can rebuild after divorce.
Women have a tendency to keep everyone satisfied. There is pressure to look perfect for our peers and everyone around us. There is competition to have the ultimate life with the right husband, home and career. We should not forget the flawless body we work so hard to acquire. No sagging, no fat, no stretch marks or imperfections. If we add perfect mommy to the profile we might be worthy of praise.
If you can read this objectively, you will understand expectations are unreasonable. Human beings are flawed, yet beautiful. The external accomplishments cannot compare with having a good heart. Our goal should not be to aspire perfection. The goal should reflect a wish to contribute your best internal and external self. We are not perfect beings but we can be kind, empathetic and caring. The significance of those characteristics certainly outweigh any model of perfection. Don’t easily succumb to what society feeds you. Our differences make each one of us not only exquisite but distinctively unique.
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