“Sometimes what we think we need, isn’t really what we need” – Anonymous
Have you ever wanted something so badly? Living with the illusion that if you can’t obtain the love, job or goal you so much desire will be the end all if not achieved?
I believe we’ve all experienced elation at the culmination of fulfilling a desired goal. But many more times felt the disappointment of not achieving a wish. The latter is probably the one with the biggest impact on our lives.
As little girls we’re told “you can be anything you want to be.” But we grow up to realize as young ladies that the world will place all sorts of barriers in our path to the things we most desire. Women can feel pressured into taking on specific roles because it’s what we think they need to do. Have you ever asked yourself if the life you have is because you truly wanted it? If it isn’t, then why settle?
We have everyday financial and family responsibilities requiring us to give priority to our mates, children and a job. I’m no exception since the demands of real life wake me up each morning. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been asking myself more questions to help me uncover the desires of the woman who stands in the mirror everyday. It has taken me years to peel off the layers of my womanhood. The unfolding of who I am as a woman has brought surprises that only get better with time. It is a process of self-discovery at times painful to own. There are parts of me, I’m yet to understand because the complexities, although beautiful, take time to deconstruct.
In my lifetime, the one thing I’ve wanted most is a family to come home to and care for each day. During my aggressive search to find the best mate to share my dream, I was blessed with a daughter. However, my marriage did not survive the storm. The journey to my truest self did not match up with the partner I had chosen. I found acceptance by understanding that what I thought I needed was not right for me. It was never truly necessary. In fact, my needs today are a blend of different things. I’m a woman who continues to evolve. Stronger, more confident and secure in who I am. The things I truly need are already within – ready and waiting to shine through to the world.
Women, same as men have their own needs and desires to fulfill. Consider the possibilities, if you set aside the guilt or shame of not succumbing to other’s insatiable demands. We love our families and take joy in the moments granted by being mom or wife. There probably isn’t a greater happiness but lets try to ask ourselves now and then, What do I need? Have needs changed over time and are they being met? What is it I truly want from life?
As we come into our own, women can feel empowered by their convictions. Taking charge of your life is the first step. It isn’t necessary to fit into anyone’s mold. We are now adults ready to face the world and WIN!
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