Love is a powerful emotion. It can entice us to do things even when we feel deep down it’s not best. Whether married, dating, living together or in a complicated relationship – deciding whether or not to end a relationship is difficult. I’ve come across women in relationships that sway back and forth on the indecision of keeping their guy or not. It might sound simple the good ones stay, the bad ones need to go. A straightforward formula for breaking up but love and loyalty complicates the most obvious decisions. It’s tricky because sometimes we find ourselves in situations that betray our well-being. Now, that’s the time to re-evaluate everything.
I’ve had my own turmoil in questionable relationships. However, deciding whether it’s worth keeping the relationship becomes easier as I get older. I’ve learned to make myself a priority and temper how much I’m willing to compromise. If I catch myself giving up so much that I’m dressed as the sacrificial lamb – an alarm goes off! If you’re with someone who takes it all out of you to the point of draining you of YOU. Then, it’s no longer a true partnership. A relationship should be a mutual give and take. It takes two people, though not always an equitable partnership, most of your needs should be met.
There is no one sure-fire way to do anything. Each relationship is as unique as the people in it, therefore, I can only provide you with suggestions. Hopefully, there will be something in my words to help or inspire you to do something different. The end result, I wish for readers is to find their own way out of pain or confusion by using this as a guide. No one can understand a relationship better than the partners involved. More importantly, only you can make decisions for yourself. We don’t have the power to change anyone’s behavior. We can only control our actions. Your responsibility is to make choices that benefit you creating a positive environment that leads to a healthy mind, body and soul.
If you are trying to decide whether your relationship is worth saving, consider doing these 3 things ahead of a decision:
1. Eliminate the Noise – We all encounter distractions in the form of discouraging, self-sabotaging or self-defeating thoughts and behaviors. Prior to any type of action, it is essential to clear your mind of anything that can obstruct sound decision-making. The inability to shut it all down for a hard reset can become an issue. We need to have a level-head in order to create a space that will allow us to think through the situation with the lease bias, as possible.
2. Check Yourself – It is impossible for you to be happy in any relationship if you’re not happy on your own. Sometimes, we’re so bogged down by our own issues that it can cloud our judgment affecting other areas of life. If you don’t feel good inside then how can you connect with joy? Honestly, you can’t. You must understand who you are and what your needs are to find balance. If you don’t know what your deal breakers are then how can you set boundaries? It’s crucial to know your truths, accept them and commit to what matters to you. If you know what matters then your partner will do too. He will either provide or not. You determine what happens after.
3. Decision Time as a Whole – Many of us, myself included (although, that was the “old me”) have the notion that we need to find someone to complete us. It’s a misconception that we’re not whole until we find that other half. Thankfully, better late than never – I realized that I am complete. I’d prefer to have someone by my side who will compliment me. We can make each other better. But in no way, am I less of a woman without a partner. Now, that I’m complete, I know what I want. I have lived by experience owning my past and present – only then will I be able to make a decision that is sound. Will there be any guarantees that it will be right? Absolutely not.
The thing is – there are no insurance policies on life. We must understand there are risks with any of the choices we make. The most important thing to do is evaluate the information with compassion and sensibility. The truth of reality is tough to face but is the clearest path to internal peace.
Ask yourself in your heart of hearts : Is the core of this relationship is a healthy one? Does it add value to your life? Does it fill your heart with happiness – not necessarily, all the time but much of it. Is it worth investing your faith and energy because it brings positivity to your spirit? The answers are already there – look within.
If the relationship is worth saving make sure that both of you are on board to do the work.
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