When was the last time you and your partner enjoyed a night out alone? Or sat together to watch a Rated-R movie that thrilled you both in any way? Have you kissed passionately in recent days, weeks, months? Not the usual peck. A kiss that brought you to your knees making you feel warm inside.
Whether you’re in a marriage, dating or living together. This is something we can all relate to. If you’ve had a partner of several years you appreciate the realities of being together for an extended amount of time. You could already be asking yourself some of these questions. Leading you to take a more serious look at the intimacy or lack of that exists between the two of you.
Years in a relationship results in a cycle of routines. Inevitably, life gets in the way which can make lovemaking a chore over time. Soccer games, music lessons and play dates. Who can forget the financial responsibilities we’re left to organize? Attached to the bills is a job with deadlines putting enough pressure on your shoulders to feel bogged down. It depletes much of the physical and mental energy. Women, as well as men experience dry spells caused by the predictability of the every day. Women don’t always voice their needs for a variety of reasons. You should know you aren’t an exception but a rule. Every relationship goes through something similar. It’s the norm but there are ways to help recover the feeling with effort on both parts.
- Promote Positive Energy: The atmosphere we generate as a result of partners’ actions and attitudes towards each other is contagious. It’s crucial to promote positive energy within the relationship. Loving, honest and regular communication helps toward creating a good flow. Something as small as demonstrating enthusiasm from seeing your partner after a long day will show him or her appreciation. Anticipating one another’s needs to make them feel they’re not forgotten. Keeping yourself in good spirits is also a great way to give off the positive vibe. This encourages each partner to keep the momentum going producing a desire to make the other happy emotionally leading to physical closeness. It is just as important to do things that keep yourself vibrant. There is nothing sexier than feeling good. It radiates light that will shine in all aspects of your life.
- Beware of Monotony: It’s easy to fall into a relationship rut. You can’t help it – none of us can because it’s very much a part of reality. If you want to inject your relationship with new life then you’ll need to get creative. This in no way means spending large amounts of money. The significance is to try something different. The usual date is dinner and a movie. Change it up! How about taking turns planning a quiet night at home – after kids are in bed. A game of Truth or Dare or taking turns reading entries from a sexy book – Shades of Grey, anyone? Buy a new piece of undergarment. Try a different color or style keeping the gesture small enough for it to be subtle. If you’re in New York City, a visit to a new place that invokes new topics of conversation may be stimulating. It’s a great opportunity to check out a new exhibit at a local museum. The key is to think outside the box. An understated motion to bring something fresh to the relationship can do wonders.
- Be Kind, Thoughtful – Show Love and Gratitude: It’s amazing how simple it is to fall into a pattern where we take our loved ones for granted. We assume that they know we love them. Which is correct but showing love is necessary. Reminding our partners that we’re grateful for their contributions is key to bringing out the same emotion in them. Be attentive to how they feel. Show that you care by taking the time to make him or her feel special. Leave a little love note or card, send a cute text to show you’re thinking of him or her. Maybe surprising them with their favorite coffee or ice cream. Go out of your way, now and then to make your loved one feel like they matter.
You know each other better than anyone. Bringing a smile to their face will enhance the bond between the two of you. Feeling and being appreciated are two of the most important elements of maintaining life in a relationship. Getting sexy back into it, isn’t only about the carnal act. It’s about creating a deeper connection that will go far beyond the physical coming together. It’s an essential element for producing lasting power. Work on both sides is required to shape the relationship you want. Having open conversations about each person’s needs is the first step towards improvement. Don’t be shy to initiate the dialogue.
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