I Don’t Love You Anymore
Everything seemed fine at last week’s wedding celebration. Just a few weeks ago, things were moving along. Everything was status quo. What happened next was unforeseen. In fact, it felt like a surprise punch to the gut. It came at such force it let the air out of the lungs.
Once in a while, we hear something that for one reason or another tugs at our heartstrings. As mothers, wives, girlfriends, and daughters, we share many of the same experiences. Women often lack the will to share, instead choosing to conceal their true emotions, usually out of fear or to please others. Neglect, exhaustion, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, heartbreak can all be buried deep enough to be able to maintain the act. However, sometimes we find the courage to divulge our hurt because we’re human. Having another woman listen and empathize can help us more than we’d like to admit.
Recently, I came across a woman in love whose heart was broken by a man she had been in a relationship with for close to 20 years. They were not married, engaged, or had children together. In fact, the couple did not cohabitate but spent weekends together. They made a lifetime of memories that would be hard to forget. Can you imagine loving someone for almost two decades? Waking up each day believing things are fine between you. Until you hear him utter those awful words that none of us want to hear ”I don’t love with you anymore.”
I, in a relationship of 8 years, couldn’t shake the thought all day. ”What if the same thing happened to me?” I wouldn’t be able to bear the pain of a crushed heart! Well, it did happen to me. Although, under different circumstances, I had a marriage end after a decade. It was emotionally crippling but did not kill me. I figured out how to thrive, find my own strength, and learned to live again.
The reality is nothing in life is permanent. We dream of a love that lasts forever but there are no guarantees. There isn’t a ring, marriage certificate, or promise that will secure eternity. Life ends too, eventually. The hope is that we spend as much time as possible enjoying the fruits of beautiful emotion. Love’s high is intoxicating, so much that we cannot get enough of it but we have to be able to pick ourselves back up if we lose it.
I am the first to admit, this woman’s story hit home. The vivid reminder that a love affair can end at any time. It is scary, however, I offer these words to the women who are hurting.
Love is grand. Allow yourself to feel and bask in it’s glory while you have it. If one day, it’s no longer there – remember there is only one true love you can never do without. The love for yourself is the greatest love you can ever have, it won’t let you down. If that love fails you it can destroy you. Your first, last and biggest love is you. If nothing else, nurture and keep it with you anywhere you go. Love yourself more than anyone else because you are the only one that can get yourself through anything.
In the meantime, Live – Love – Laugh because you got this girl!
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