Are you in a situation, where you live with a significant other but somehow still feel alone? Do you share space with a mate but act like strangers passing in the night. Sit at meals together with seemingly nothing to talk about. The person that once awakened the most intimate parts of you is today, almost a stranger. You are drowning in hurt resulting from an uncomfortable silence that forces you to wonder, “Is the love that once existed, gone?”
Disconnection is painful and poses a huge threat to a couple’s lifeline if ignored. Thousands of distractions get in the way of quality time together and bonding with a mate. The stress of managing a home, children, partner, career, finances, and relationships wears us down – we’re only human. It becomes increasingly difficult to balance everything happening in our daily lives.
I’m familiar with the sensation of drifting away from someone I care about. A slow detachment resulted in severe disengagement, eventually eating away at the core of the relationship. The fire extinguished followed by a lack of affection and understanding until finally, distress blew up the relationship. Small annoyances magnified into obnoxious situations pulling us further apart with every argument. Over time, circumstances worsened to the point of no return.
Men and women unwillingly fall into this reckoning unless both partners commit to putting in the work required to repair broken parts. A timely awareness is critical in saving these relationships. If we allow problems to brew too long, distance creates huge barriers that create irreparable damage.
It is not uncommon for some people to use denial as a coping mechanism. Pushing out the ugly stuff, hoping it goes away is never the answer. Ignoring the signs is costly because issues don’t dissipate on their own. It is key to spot the warnings of a relationship in dire straits, you may recognize some of the ones below:
- A silence that is deafening
- Increasing in the number of arguments
- A lack of physical and emotional intimacy
Although the silent treatment may reflect an immature way of handling a relationship in trouble, it happens often. Understanding that communication opens the door to dialogue is a good start. It’s important for couples to learn to speak to one another but also listen. When we stop sharing with our partners, we risk intimacy. Let your loved one in and tell him or her about the things that worry or hurt you. I believe there is a way to say anything, it’s all how you say it. Don’t hide behind silence, instead, give yourself permission to be seen. Showing vulnerability encourages others to let their guard down, it can be the first step towards healing.
Confronting problems is tough for everyone. Occasionally, it seems easier to alienate anything painful instead of facing it. In an effort to run from conflict, we use avoidance, get defensive, and argue our way out of things. Fighting takes many forms including verbal and physical confrontations. Neither option is healthy for a relationship, both lead to loss of mutual respect. Remember, boundaries are necessary, as you go down this road. A balance of giving and taking is the sweet spot you should aim for to reach a place of contentment, where you both get some of what you need.
Intimacy is one of the glues that keeps a fire burning in relationships. Closeness with a partner can be experienced in different ways. It is a spiritual, mental, and/or physical connection that promotes attachment to a lover. The temporary or permanent break of this bond affects how you relate to one another. If you begin to dismiss the nurturing part of the relationship, you can lose it altogether. Partners who feel emotionally abandoned when lacking proximity can feel vulnerable, it leads to bigger issues that manifest in a much more toxic way.
Every couple has challenges to bear, as couples look to build a foundation that can withstand conflict. Disagreements, differences in opinion, betrayal, and hardship are part of the struggles that could be encountered during the journey of love. Connection is the heartbeat of a relationship, it inspires people to stay close when there is a breakdown of any kind.
Signs of disconnection are hard to miss when we’re paying attention. Distance looming, as we slowly retreat from our lover. The things that were once binding, now seem to slip away. Ultimately, the drift becomes too big to mend which has the potential to ruin the most secure relationships.
If you suspect a detachment, don’t be afraid to start a dialogue. Life gets busy and can hinder us from seeing what’s right in front of us. Having an open and honest conversation is the beginning of fixing serious cracks that threaten the health of any relationship. Don’t let it wait too long if you’re feeling a disconnection, unlock the gates to communication today!
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