October 22, 2019

How to Resolve Those Annoying Pet Peeves

Every week Jenny woke up to find his trimmed hairs in the bathroom sink. Weeknights filled with chores, her least favorite – picking up after her significant other. Although she loved him dearly, it was no fun cleaning up after a grown man or repeatedly ask him to help around around the house. They both held down jobs and were equally busy outside the home. If you ask what is her biggest pet peeve? His clothes all over the bedroom floor every evening. It annoyed her to no end.

Love has nothing to do with it, is right! Plenty of women struggle with playing ”mama.” Have you had the pleasure of meeting the guy that spends weekend after a weekend playing video games while his girlfriend or spouse does the heavy lifting? Cooking, cleaning, laundry, making lunches for the school week or shuffling little ones to social activities? Of course, there are men who do their part to help, as much as possible. There are also single fathers who do it alone. But why do women often feel they carry most of the load when it comes to domestic affairs? The answer is a combination of you, society and unrealistic expectations set by all of the above.

Whether married, cohabitating, dating or in a relationship of any kind, women are usually expected to fulfill a role. Matriarchs in charge of overseeing home life. A story as old as time that goes back to early civilization. Men go out to hunt while the female stays behind to gather food and care for kin. However, the traditional roles once defined, no longer apply. Beautiful, isn’t it?

Modern society gives us permission to break the mold. There isn’t one way of doing things. We must take charge of our lives which includes making choices that support the life you deserve. Your vision does not need to look like anyone else’s. Make sensible concessions without offering yourself as a sacrificial lamb. Remembering who you are and what you want is important. Living an unhappy life for any reason does not work long term. Often times, we put others first, placing our needs on the backburner. It is behavior that can become a habit for many.

Pet peeves can become bothersome over time. The potential to cause problems in a relationship is real. The little annoyances get under your skin on any given day. Whether he is always late, pops gum, gives you the silent treatment or is indecisive. If these are things that get on your nerves then try to resolve the behavior. Open a dialogue with that person about your discomfort. Human relationships are complex, a key to making them work is to communicate emotions. It is nearly impossible to have successful relations without this basic requirement. Silencing our dismay is not a valuable option as it creates a build-up of resentment that can eat away at you.

So, how do you manage your significant other’s pet peeves?

1. In a compassionate and constructive manner share your feelings. In the process of expressing yourself make sure not to phrase the issues negatively. Start your conversation from a positive place then tell your partner how you feel.

2. Offer possible sensible options that may help solve the issue. Meeting a loved one halfway can work wonders. People want to feel appreciated and if you work towards a middle ground, it facilitates the transition.

Remember, a compromise no matter how small has a better chance of winning over a command. So, what is your biggest pet peeve?

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