Dating is work, often times unrewarding labor that leads to nothingness. Have you been told you have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your prince? Although, not always true, there is validity to the statement. The majority of us do not find good love on the first or even second try. A strong, lasting relationship has the best chance for success when it’s with the best match.
The dating game feels like a tiresome sport at times, especially, when the same mistakes are made repeatedly. Present company included, I’m guilty of some of the same offenses as many other women. Allowing the fear of loneliness to keep me in a relationship that did not serve my needs. Believing a man’s potential would be enough to dismiss the reality of his shortcomings. Creating a lie to hide the fact, I was being courted by a complete loser. Endless excuses to rationalize the behavior of bad men became a part-time job. Have you found yourself doing some of the same in your love life?
If you are confronting challenges in this deparment, maybe some of my lessons in dating can help. For one, anknowledging truth, seeing things for what they are, is instrumental. We must date smarter which means using a combination of emotion and intelligence. It cannot only be you tossing your heart around to any possible suitor – he should earn your attention.
Hopefully, these tips will be useful during your dating expedition.
1. You Don’t Need a Man but it’s nice to have one. Knowing yourself and having the ability to stand on your own provides incredible confidence. It takes off some of the pressure when there isn’t an ultimate end goal. Dating to snatch a husband is probably not the greatest approach, it sometimes leads to desperation. The scent repels men and cheats you of what you deserve by clouding judgment. Remember, this is not a life or death situation, it is a collection of trial runs until you get to the real thing. You get a chance explore what works and doesn’t for you.
2. Women Have All the Power. If you give it all away, a man is unlikely to make an effort. Serving yourself on a platter will not encourage him to step up and out of his comfort zone. He should meet you halfway to a common ground. Relationship goals must align without making compromises that sacrifice either of your happiness. Human beings are creatures of habit, anyone can get used to a good thing. Make sure you can both get what you need. You will know early on in the dating stages how much he is willing to give, if you hold back some. For all the givers out there, I can relate to how amazing it feels to give but don’t relinquish everything, save a few parts for yourself. You are your first priority!
3. You Do Not Need to Divulge Your Book of Secrets. Some mystery is okay in dating. The first date is not meant to blurt out an account of a life’s story. Releasing a little at a time is completely acceptable. Taking the time to just talk is okay. Try not to play a game of inquisition back and forth to get to know the guy. You get to know one another by having normal dialogue. Conversations can lead to a nice exchange of information, stories and interesting tidbits that may guide you closer or further away from a possible love interest. Be patient, most importantly stay present to find out if this person is worthy of more of your time.
Dating is not easy, by any means but can be an enjoyable experience if you take it for what it is – a chance to meet new people. Going into it for the sake of a happily ever after is not the goal of the exercise. My advice is to use this time to find out your likes and dislikes, get to know yourself as a woman, as much as you can. Fall in love with yourself first because when you do, you will not accept less than you deserve. Your choices are focused on things that are better for you all around.
Now go out and live your best life! The rest will come when time and guy (or girl) is right.
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