3 Things You Can Do to Stop Being a Doormat in Relationships
Has anyone ever said “You are too nice!” Have you felt people assume you’ll go along with their plans because you never say “No?” How about never being asked what you would like to do thinking you will follow whatever is imposed on you? Men and women can fall in this trap whether or not in a relationship.
Frustrating? Yes, very annoying be over time. There are people who are firm and confident when expressing their wishes. You will know who these individuals are because it is difficult or impossible to push them around.
For a long time, my kindness was mistaken for weakness. I was the pushover, dependable “Yes Monster.” The trait seemed to betray me. I allowed people to walk all over me making my life more difficult than it should-be. It repeatedly put me in situations that made me unhappy.
It’s interesting how people can spot the ones too nice for their own good. This type of person is a magnet for opportunists. The chance to have someone who doesn’t know how to say “No” is a golden ticket. One must be careful to make sure we maintain a healthy balance, otherwise, it will get more and more difficult to stand up for yourself.
1. Be Assertive: Consider all your accomplishments and how far you’ve come. It isn’t the size of the win but the effort that has gone into getting a step closer to your goals. Prioritize your well-being by giving your mind, body and soul the attention it requires to fully be present. Stand up for yourself because you are worth it. Once you start believing in yourself, confidence begins to bloom.
2. Prepare Yourself to Disappoint Some People: You will never make everyone happy all the time. It’s important to learn to manage people’s expectations of what you are and not willing to do. Compromising yourself in any way will unlikely to benefit you. Not only will others begin to see you as feeble. If you don’t stand for something – especially yourself. People will think it’s perfectly fine to mistreat you or abuse of your kindness. Set boundaries even if it means ruffling a few feathers.
3. Love Yourself: Would you allow anyone to treat your child, partner, mother or sister as if they were a rag doll? Walk all over him or her as if they had no respect? Certainly not. Then why accept less than you deserve for yourself. The initial trepidation of confronting conflict is normal. It always is when we step out of our comfort zone. Challenge yourself by creating the self-assurance necessary to be bold. Bravery comes in many levels. You don’t have to leap right away but you do have to learn to take care of your needs first. Self-love is the biggest gift we can give to ourselves. It is the first step to building a healthy relationship with our internal spirit.
Relationships of any kind need a balance. We have to be able to speak up loud enough to refuse any mistreatment. If it makes you uncomfortable or you’re feeling like the walls are caving on you. It’s time to step back momentarily to see where you can hold back the reign a bit. Being of service, helping people is a humanitarian act. But allowing yourself to be used is unacceptable. You will know the difference, so when the moment comes – be prepared to put a halt to the behavior. You are no one’s doormat. People will only do to you as much as you allow.
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October 19, 2018 @ 7:42 am
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