When She Says, “I’m Fine” is She?
Picture a weekday evening at home. You rush in from work, playgroup or market. Sometimes all three! The kitchen has to be prepped for dinner. The kids need help with homework or you have to put laundry in the wash. He is sitting on the couch watching the weekend’s wrap up of business or sports news. Finally, the stress level boils over. A plate is dropped, smashing onto the marbled kitchen floor.
Although, made it to look unintentional – was it really? You and that plate know you meant for it to demolish in a million pieces. Your partner jets to the kitchen, In an unnerving voice asks “Honey, are you OK?” In a thunderous voice you quickly respond -“I’m fine!”
Women are constantly multitasking daily roles. We do the work of a protagonist in many of life’s stories but mostly end up getting the praise of a supporting cast member.
Unless, we’re willing to use our voice to express how we feel. It’s tough getting heard – really heard. If we don’t take initiative we end up feeling frustrated, pissed or exhausted from the tug of war. When our needs fall on deaf ears we pull back, eventually shutting down. This is the moment men might get the “I’m Fine” response they dread so much.
It’s tough to recount the moments I’ve used the phrase as a way of avoiding confrontation that will lead to a dead end. Sometimes, it’s easier to respond with the white lie than drag out a matter that neither you or the other person is ready to tackle. The simplest action to take when you’re stressed or feeling combative is to drop the subject making you to feel like this – at least momentarily.
It’s not a suggestion to suppress your emotions. Instead, consider the pause as way to step back to reflect and think through whatever is troubling you. The most important step to getting what you need is to know what it is you need. Incredibly, a lot of us don’t know ourselves well enough to understand what gives us fulfillment.
It can be challenging for women to vocalize emotions at any given time. Overwhelmed with the role of caretaker can leave you feeling like you’re not priority. It’s essential to reinforce the opposite because it’s such a misconception. You are a very important! If you aren’t happy it will be tough for those around you to feel joy. Make it your mission to communicate when and why you aren’t happy.
When you say “I’m fine” ask yourself, “Am I really fine?” If not then “What do I need to do be OK?” “What must happen in order for me not to feel like crap?”
The way we feel affects every aspect of our lives. Toxicity, especially when internalized takes a toll on our mental, physical and emotional well-being. Finding a healthy balance within is the core of our existence. Once you acquire a happy medium the other elements in life’s nucleus can improve, significantly. I’ve come to understand it’s all connected, therefore, I act as it all works in unison to create a healthy ecosystem.
“I’m fine” is the light indicator reminding us to check engine. Pay attention. It may help prevent a future meltdown.
Protected content. 2018 awakened-woman.
