How Long Do You Wait?

This time of year seems to be sprinkled with fairy dust! Holiday wishes are in the air. You might not be a romantic or even really like the holidays. But somehow for many single women the fantasy of a magical Christmas proposal tugs at their hearts. Is it possible that deep down some of us buy into at least some of the magic? I believe so. Do you think it’s a coincidence to see the Zales and Jared jewelry campaigns saturate our television screens at this time of year? Not. It seems that aside from Valentine’s day, these holidays are too filled with dreams of getting that engagement ring. I’d like to make it clear, this is not the case for all women but appeals to many of us.

Although, those that really know me are aware of this fact. I’m a closet romantic. Every Christmas, my daughter and I have a special holiday lunch. We’ve had the standing date for the past 12 years. We sit at a Rockefeller Center restaurant and remind each other of blessings received. Each of those times we’ve enjoyed seeing a proposal on the rink. Love on ice during Christmas. A lover down on one knee with ring in hand asking his love to spend the rest of their lives together.

There are women that get their proposal during the holidays or eventually. They arrive at a place that they get to dream. A moment that is theirs to cherish the few minutes in time when they feel like the center of the universe. An instant to devour the thought they’ve found the one person who will bare witness to the rest of their life. A someone who will love them no matter what happens. We don’t need a ring but the act can be meaninful, isn’t it?

A handful of women will wait year after year with hope in their heart. Filled with desire an engagement will happen this year. Time is funny though, it wears you down and for these hopefuls the dream dwindles as time goes by. The exhaustion becomes a vacuum that can suck the fun out of the process. So – how long do you wait? How much time do you date before expecting a ring? It’s completely up to you. There isn’t a formula for the waiting period. No one can tell you how long to stand by and wish your life away. There is no perfect answer.

I can share one piece of wisdom, however – love does not set conditions. If the ring is truly what matters to you but you don’t receive the proposal – ask yourself this question. “How much time is the ring worth to you?”  

We can’t force people into taking the action we want. If you love each other and are truly, deeply devoted to one another. How would setting conditions improve your bond? I’d dare to assume that it might set you up for failure. It would eventually lead to unhappiness because walls crack under pressure.

Wait as long as you need to until you decide that time has run its course on the relationship. If a ring is what you really need then buy yourself one to symbolize a committment to yourself. The promise to love and honor the woman that stands in front of the mirror. The amazing woman you are deserves your loyalty. See her. Learn to truly appreciate how invaluable you are to the world.

You are worth everything. Remember it.

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