From New York City, Miami, Los Angeles, Paris, London, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Switzerland, Columbia, and all corners of the globe. She’s got the look, style, bank account, job, home, and partner. From afar, it would appear she’s got it together! Everything she wanted to accomplish is checked off her list. We pass dozens of women on the street or road each day resembling this woman. Oftentimes, we make the assumption nothing is amiss.
It’s said that first impressions are everything. The moment we come face to face with someone, it creates a story in our head. A tale that might poke questions “How does she do it? How can I get it all? How do I get my life Insta-perfect!? Why does she have that I don’t? Why not me?”
It’s human nature to play the comparison game. Women have been accused of competing for decades. Measuring each other up seems like a sport sometimes. It begins at a young age during a time we should be forming long-lasting bonds as men are well-known to do. Of course, this isn’t a rule. Many of us experience strong, genuine, and empowering relations with other females. Either way, we often look to impress with how “fabulous” our life is – even when it’s not even close to the truth! We put up a facade to try to get others to believe we have it all.
As I look at the world around me, I learn that life can be our greatest stage. We make appearances in our best get-up, putting our face on to please. No one wants to disappoint. We want the admiration to hopefully, make us feel worthy in some way. I think deep down, a lot of us are just looking to be seen – and heard. Therefore, we put on a show to acquire the love, acceptance, or acknowledgment we’re yearning for. At least, this was my reasoning for acting in the past.
The fail comes in ignoring the fact that everyone is flawed. There is a world inside every one of us that lives and breathes emotions. Life isn’t perfect, certainly, there are struggles we face at work, in relationships, and internally. The tug of war created between what we want and what’s expected of us can drain the joy at times. Societal pressures add a layer of complication that leaves us feeling helpless at times.
No one has the right to live your life but you. Believing anyone else has a say in your decisions or has the right to pass judgment is unacceptable. You are the author of your story. It doesn’t have to read like anyone else’s because YOU aren’t like anyone else.
The woman who seems to have it all, like you is also human. She has her own challenges to overcome. Next time she passes you by, consciously shift your focus. Ask yourself instead “Have I done it all to be my best self?”
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