What is the Price for Living in Love’s Denial?

Optimism is believing in a positive outcome. Having hope that life or circumstance will have the best turnout even in the face of adversity. It is holding on to the possibility that things will work out in the end.

Love is magical at times. It adds color to life that you may not have noticed before getting hit by the bug. We forgive indiscretions, lies, neglect, negative personality traits and to our detriment, sometimes even mistreatment. The emotion has enough influence to take you into a vortex of denial so powerful it leads to incredible disbelief. The lack of clarity will cause you to act in ways never imagined.

In several instances throughout my romantic life, I have been known to base decisions on the potential of a partner instead of the actions taking place. Optimism to an extreme, borderline foolishness. Years ago, a wise woman shared some sage advice with me. I had been experiencing an internal emotional battle deciding whether or not a relationship I was in, was worth saving. She advised me to look at my partner without the rose-colored glasses. Eliminate any idea of “what he could be” and focus on what was in front of me. Her exact words “Screw potential! The best decisions are the ones we make with our eyes wide open.”

It was difficult to hear what she had to say because it hurt. I was using denial to avoid the reality of a situation. Shying away from the truth spared me emotional distress or at least minimized it – temporarily. I did not count on the fact that none of what I was doing would change the end result, only delay it.

Denial gets expensive over time. It can cost months, years of your life that can be better spent. It takes away the focus off of you or someone whose willing to go all in with you. It wastes energy that can be used in a positive manner. Don’t be mistaken, you are headed for trouble by turning a blind eye. Waiting, hoping and praying the relationship or loved one will somehow have an epiphany.

People act on their own accord and schedule. It is in your best interest to plant both feet and stay grounded. Denial will cost dearly when you refuse to see what is in front of you. Ignoring reality has devastating consequences whether in personal or business dealings. Although, hard to accept something is wrong it helps long term.

When facing denial take time to think about the matter at hand. What are you so afraid of? What is the worst that can happen if you continue to ignore the reality in your relationship? Open up to the hidden feelings when no one is watching. Be frank with yourself. Once you find the answers seek support from friends and family to confront and tackle the demons. They can only win if you remain idle – do not let them.

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