Are You Trapped Living a Double Life?

The fascination for all things complicated is a chapter in the book of my life. Questionable choices adding a layer of unnecessary difficulty due to a lack of authenticity. I am not ashamed to admit there has been a degree of assimilation on my part to fit into relationships, friendships and unfamiliar environments. Playing dual roles requires great effort and leads to nothingness. True happiness is only possible when equal parts of you are integrated as one. It has been one of the most valuable lessons learned as a woman.

Diana Prince, Army nurse by day and superhero at night. Does it sound familiar – yes? Millions of us live our own version of Wonder Woman. Intelligent, caring, confident, independent and loyal, all amazing qualities. The woman reflected strength and courage but also had a vulnerability. She maintained two lives as different people. Not only did her persona cover up a superwoman identity, it hid her love for General Steve Trevor. The women she portrayed was not allowed to demonstrate the weaknesses that lay beneath.

Modern society is slowly changing. During the daytime hours we play mothers, career professionals, homemakers, girlfriends and daughters. By night some may find themselves frustrated, stuck and tending to a void filled with dissatisfaction. We put up a front to please the external world. Having a sense of belonging is pivotal to personal success, isn’t it? But is the need to be included so strong, we should be willing to surrender ourselves? Women are no longer feeling a need to conceal their identity. More and more are taking ownership of who they to benefit mental and emotional well-being. Developing a balance includes merging true self with the public image.

Recently, while watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, I was enlightened to the fortune of living in present time. Mrs. Maisel, another fictitious character reminded me of the effort we sometimes put into not letting people see through to real you. A proper Upper East Side wife with two babies and a husband by day. By night she takes the spotlight as a foul-mouthed comedian sharing her life experiences as a woman seeking answers. While her home life is imploding, the only outlet is comedy. Mrs. Maisel happens to be great at humorous storytelling but she breaks into the business during a time the industry was male dominated. The comedian sets out to quietly defend her dreams. Progressively, incorporating the different pieces that make up Mrs. Maisel.

There is a connection to be made with these characters. We live day-to-day checking the boxes. Do we honestly show our true self for all to see? There are dozens of reasons we have to pick and choose what to display to the outside world. There are rules and guidelines set in place to get a seat at the table with the majority. It isn’t always fair but sometimes necessary for the greater good. Change is harder to accept when it is forced. It is easier to welcome if introduced gradually.

Moderation is key when learning to own who you are in life. There are aspects of ourselves meant to be kept private but that does not mean we have give up authenticity. Staying true to yourself is about embracing all of you. Speaking openly on the things you stand for and believe in without shame; being accepting of yourself, as well as, others. Having an ability to understand that mistakes are lessons not failures defining you. Living a life with enough compassion to express how you feel and respect others’s emotions and experiences. Holding on to yout truths during the pursuit of your dreams.

Are you living with authenticity?

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