Have you talked yourself out of trying something new for fear of failure? Does the idea of giving up cross your mind to avoid being turned down? I don’t know many people not fearful of rejection but it’s crucial to attack the fear monger within.
Rejection is a big issue for both men and women. It can hinder you from going after what you want. Destroying the vision of a life you wish to create but too afraid it will never be. So, you stop trying before you even begin. However, there is a way to get unstuck.
We hear countless human interest stories about overcoming fear. It is absolutely possible to get passed the trepidation, if you are willing to perform a mental shift.
We are wired for connection. Whether people admit it or not, they have a deep-rooted desire to feel loved. Wishing to be part of a family, relationship or something bigger than you is normal. Change, isolation, being shun out can interfere with the inclusiveness. Any of these outcomes validate feelings we might already struggle with, such as unworthiness, unattractiveness and self-doubt. The defense mechanism toolbox may use a fear switch to scare you into avoidance. Staying away from situations where you could be rejected.
The best, most effective way to deal with rejection is to open yourself up to the probability of it happening at any point in time. Your mind is going to spin because you’re afraid of losing or worse, failure. Learning self-awareness is helpful. You can talk yourself out of full-blown panic when you see it coming. This is the moment when thoughts fly all over your head without rhyme or reason. Nothing makes sense. Inner voices badger you into believing you are not good enough, you will never find a partner that will love you or this is as good as it gets for you. We view rejection as the end all but it is not the case. How about trying to look at it from a different perspective?
My fear of rejection discouraged me from doing plenty in my adult life. Ironically, the craft of writing has been all about being turned down. Peers warned me, if you want to get into writing, prepare yourself. The number of rejection letters received will outweigh acceptances.
The process has helped immensely, making me more resilient. The best way to describe my attitude? “If you don’t ask – you don’t get.” I will crush any thoughts that take from my will to push forward. The most amazing part of fear losing its power? The increased level of empowerment you can feel.
Rejection, if accepted as a stepping stone of the growth process will strengthen your mind. Do not allow it to intimidate you into inaction. Stare it in the face, challenging to a duel. You will win!
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