Recently, I overheard the story of a woman’s demand for her significant other’s phone password. The tale did not shock me but got me to thinking about my own behavior in a relationship. What reason would drive me to ask my boyfriend for the password to his social media, email or phone? In a world where oversharing is acceptable, sometimes encouraged. Is it okay to share each other’s passwords? Should you be giving your husband, lover, boyfriend or partner free reign to all your personal details? Responses are mixed depending on gender, relationship history or experience, as well as, the person.
I asked a few women this question. Most of them provided answers similar to my own. Over the course of several days, I considered the different scenarios. None of which altered my conclusion at the end.
We enter relationships without necessarily having a foundation of trust. Confidence in a partner is earned over time as you get familiar with the person. Understandably, if past love experiences are tainted by betrayal or deceit then it could be harder to allow yourself to let the guard down. It may lead someone to ask for proof of trust. For example, if he has nothing to hide, or she is trustworthy then sharing passwords to demonstrate good faith can be just what the doctor ordered. True or False? You are entitled to your opinion. Everyone should do what feels right for their situation. Evaluating the state of the affairs and your feelings is key.
Personally, I have never volunteered passwords to my devices, email or social media accounts. On the contrary, my adamant negative response may have caused friction in some relationships. It has not been an immediate trust issue that stops me from fessing up the information, more for privacy. The biggest problem with handing over or exchanging passwords is the complete surrender of one’s power, not only as a woman but as an individual. Being part of a relationship does not require anyone to give up their personal identity. It isn’t a necessary stipulation that you and your partner act as one-person. Rather, I challenge you to consider being two equal parts in your relationship. It should feel like separate beings making a conscious decision to share their experiences and lives as they choose without relinquishing the self.
The art of compromise is already a prerequisite for carrying out successful relationships. A give and take hoping a significant other (S.O.) reciprocates the gift of our unselfish ways. Unfortunately, it isn’t always a 2-way street as there are those that may take advantage of a predicament. Sometimes, exposing such vulnerability can leave you at a disadvantage. I’m not stating that partners shouldn’t believe in one another but there has to be a fine line drawn in the sand. You can always go back and tweak without giving away keys to the kingdom.
Passwords are valuable in business and personal lives. The cryptic codes allow access to a world that has important information about your behavior, finances, personal matters or anything that is not meant for public entry.
If you decide to share any passwords, ask yourself these questions:
1. Can the confidential details you are sharing lead to your personal information highway? Could it be damaging in any way, if got to the wrong hands?
2. How much trust exists between you and your partner? Is this person offering equal access to his or her life?
3. Motive – are you being asked for passwords out of someone’s desire to control you physically, financially, socially or emotionally?
The questions are meant to help readers look at the big picture by empowering themselves strengthening personal security. Sharing is your prerogative but be safe.
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