Engagement is a highlight in the lives of millions of women each year. Plenty of brides-to-be coordinate up to the smallest detail of the wedding day, right down to the color of lipstick. The production is a culmination of decades worth of fantasizing. The perfect dress, shoes, veil, venue, flowers, and cake. Oh Yes! We can’t forget the groom. The romantic imagery is used to sell millions of goods and services to women everywhere each day.
A long or sometimes brief courtship that encompasses someone’s love story. It’s been said, ”everyone has at least one novel in them.” Couples bring their unique tale of how they met and fell in love. Moments at an altar, gazebo or designated area to profess love and devotion in the presence of witnesses. Recently, I listened to a podcast that took me back to the first time I got married. The host of the show went over some valid information. Some of the thoughts shared resonate with me today but back then, it did not occur to me to ask myself these questions.
- Why Do You Want to Get Married? Validation of the relationship? Do you need to prove yourself worthy of marrying or is tradition the reason for the exchange of vows.
- Are you both financially prepared for the business of marriage? Once the romance wears off it is crucial to be ready for the economic repercussions post-wedding.
- Have you had difficult conversations to align your priorities? Do you and your partner have similar ideals as you move ahead with a life together? Children? Where to live after nuptials? Change of names? Future plans? Management of household finances? There is plenty to discuss.
Suprisingly, many couples neglect to talk about the real-life topics that affect their lives day-to-day. I am too, guilty of allowing a wedding to get bigger than the marriage. Posing the right questions is necessary to make sure you go into this new setting with your eyes wide open. Finding out your new spouse is knee deep in debt or legal problems after saying ”I Do” for example, will leave you not only shell-shocked but resentful. Starting a relationship on dishonesty has detrimental effects that will turn your world inside out. Having been on the other side of a lie at any given time, I can tell you one thing. Deceitful behavior is destructive but so is ignorant bliss. Either one can threaten a good thing.
Your engagement checklist has to include a heart-to-heart with yourself and your lucky guy. In the most honest and genuine voice ask the right questions. Don’t be afraid to ask anything, this is about your life.
Relationships should include a vetting process to give you the best chance for success. Meeting the right person and falling in love is a whimsical dance but doesn’t have to mean the end of reasoning. The goal is to try to preserve some type of balance to obtain maximum results. Being better prepared for a future together may increase the probability of building a strong and resilient foundation for the relationship. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
What questions will you have on your list?
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