Date much? Can you recall the years, months or weeks anticipating a date? We invest a lot of time and energy in the dating game. There is immeasurable pressure for the young and old to couple up. Those relationship goals are constantly in our faces and plastered all over social media. Valentine’s day is built around the idea that everyone needs somebody. So, once you find the ideal someone, why go out alone?
There isn’t a lack of desire to share time with my special someone. The moments spent with the one I love creates an eternal footprint in my heart. If these romantic or fun times are such a treasure then what is the reason behind going out on my own? It’s not about anyone else but me. It is a couple hours’ set aside to reconnect with the inner self. When was the last time you took care of your needs or did something you wanted to do that does not involve a second party?
The headline picture gives you a visual of what I decided to do for my night out. The week had been hectic juggling projects that drained me of all energy. Appointments at the hair salon followed by a quick manicure in preparation for dinner. Sitting at a window table in a quiet restaurant with a glass of Provence Rose – smells like August! The people-watching outside became increasingly interesting when a summer thunderstorm hovered over the Manhattan streets. Dark clouds steadily rolled into the area speeding up the walk of pedestrians without umbrellas. By the time, the entree was in front of me, huge raindrops splashed the sidewalk creating puddles too big to jump over. Mother Nature’s show of power was a sight to see while I contemplated this year in my life.
In the book, ”A Journey to Becoming the Best Self” I described how date night with myself was born. They say the mother of all inventions comes from necessity, as it turns out, this idea significantly helped me when I fell into the uncoupled category. Learning to plan these dates became a way of self-care. Reactions to the concept of dating solo vary from bewilderment to disbelief which could be intimidating. The solution is to stand strong, confident in the knowledge of the woman you are, shrugging off any outside judgment. The voices of those that don’t matter will be silenced over time, empowering you more than ever imagined.
Women are caretakers by nature which is beautiful. The issue for most of us seems to be how lost we can get in others. It is important to nurture ourselves mentally, physically and spiritually. Creating a space where you can gradually find your center promotes good health. It strengthens you in numerous ways and encourages the process of self-awareness. Exhausting yourself while managing everyone else’s needs leads you to be progressively less effective. It’s impossible to stretch your resources for an indefinite length of time without the bottom falling out. It’s like letting a hairline fracture go untreated. Over weeks the complications that can occur are increasingly more serious. A healing period is required to get back to a healthy state. You also require care to regenerate as you work towards your best self.
Dates with yourself can consist of any activity that is fun for you. These usually do not require overthinking or intense action. To the contrary, do things that put you at ease. The flow of time when you are engaged in your activity should leave you with feelings of serenity, gratitude even if it’s for a short stint you’ll enjoy it.
I left the restaurant that evening with a sense of balance. Inspired by the down time, I was able to navigate my thoughts freely without interruptions. It was a moment of pure freedom which I gift myself every so often, as it is necessary for my well-being. In the long run, it makes me a better mother, girlfriend, friend, daughter and human being.
Consider planning one of your own. Would love to hear about your experience with solo date. Let me know how it goes for you.
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