2 Ways to Nurture the Most Important Relationship in Your Life

Women are natural-born multitaskers playing role of mother, daughter, wife, cook, housekeeper, nurse, assistant, timekeeper, teacher and anything in between! We juggle the management of our homes, children, and careers flawlessly. If you pitch any other balls in our direction, we’re likely to hit it, too.  Selflessly, we extend ourselves to volunteer time that we don’t really have to our kids’ school PTA Association to ensure recognition as supermom. Even when there is no time we carve it out of somewhere playing host during holidays, birthdays and family events. We make every effort to make everyone happy many times sacrificing ourselves. Why do we choose to focus on nourishing external relationships? Because innately we are caretakers often finding our value in how much we can do for our loved ones.

My marriage lasted close to 10 years. During this time I made every effort to fulfill all my husband and daughter’s daily needs. I’d wake up each day to prepare breakfast, take her to school and get to my own job planning events.  I’d rush out of work at the end of the workday to pick her up, make dinner and help get her settled. The next day we’d start the race all over, again. I loved it, if I had to repeat it, I would in a second. I’m a mom; she is my joy and most important accomplishment. I enjoyed being a wife, although challenging, as it took a lot out of me but well-worth it for love.

Funny, how quickly time flies.  I’ve now been divorced about the same amount of time, as I was married. I’ve completed many life lessons over the years. However, the most important one has been to prioritize the relationship with myself.  Personally, my biggest happiness is making others happy but I can’t do that if my inner-self is neglected.  By doing so, the wear and tear will begin to weigh me down. The effects trickle down mentally, emotionally and physically. In order to avoid crashing into the abyss of exhaustion leading you to losing myself there are two things I cannot do without.

1. Self-Care: Make it your business to prioritize me, myself and I. Vehemently, love yourself! Taking care of your needs will ensure you are mentally and physically strong to help care for your loved ones. Schedule time with yourself at home or outside, is always best. It’s more efficient to leave the home since there is usually something on the to-do list. Disconnecting completely while inside the nest takes much discipline not always doable. Try doing something you enjoy and will make you smile like a kid in a candy store. Treat yourself to a class at the gym, spa, coffee shop to read favorite book or a nature walk. It will surprise you, how this time can reinvigorate you. Practice self-forgiveness, it’s OK to delay the laundry or set the dinner table 30 minutes later. We are beautifully imperfect not robot machines. Being the best you also means making allowances for yourself. Don’t be so hard on your own person.
2. Stay Present: Live in the moment. Breathe in the life you’re blessed to have letting out any energy your body doesn’t need. We zoom by the minutes, hours, days that we forget to stop and enjoy what we have – health, love and time on earth. Living a full life doesn’t have to be piling up as much activity as you can onto your day. It’s more about the quality and shape you give each day.

The priority list begins with your name. Start today – make it count.

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