Uncovering an Emotional or Physical Affair

The boundaries for cheating have been extended for modern society. Decades ago, being unfaithful was restricted to a physical act, whereas today there are close to a dozen ways to blur the lines of infidelity. Technology has significantly changed perspective of what it means to cheat. This widened definition of what constitutes cheating has added a layer of complexity to already challenged relationships.

Ever wonder, what hurts more, discovering an emotional or physical affair? The answer depends on who you ask.

I have felt the daggers of infidelity. The pain inflicted is so deep it can take the air out of your lungs. Finding out the one person who makes you incredibly vulnerable has betrayed you is life-changing. Broken trust, brands you. It leaves you jaded for others that come after. It’s a long way back from the hurt.

Everyone has their own opinion, as to which affair is most severe. It is difficult to effectively determine if one is more damaging than another. Both violate confidence in a relationship. Some people believe the sins of the flesh are significantly more scarring. The notion your committed partner can share such an intimate act with someone else is unfathomable. Others think that sharing the most private secrets in a clandestine way with anyone outside a partner is earth-shattering. Not a simple answer to this question, now is it? It can be conflicting because of the rules being broken.

Maybe, the difference really comes down to which is more forgivable or are you able to live with, since they can be equally devastating. Many men I’ve spoken with say physical cheating is more difficult to get passed. While a few others claim that a sentimental connection is almost as destructive, as engaging in physical play. The combination of playful banter, a sharing of vulnerabilities creates a web of intimacy leading to dangerous ground. After all, we’re human.

The level of agony brought on by an emotional or physical affair depends on the person, their experiences and manner in which they perceive intimacy. Cheating is much about the betrayal of trust. Whatever end you are on, an affair changes you. If on the receiving end of one, it messes with your head. You find yourself digging deep into the most negative parts of your mind to ask “Why did this happen to me? Am I not good enough? Did I do something wrong?” You might believe somehow it’s your fault. These are insecurities whispering in our ear. Understand the event that has taken place is not a reflection of you.

The decision that follows after either affair should be well thought out and accepted. Whatever you do with the relationship after uncovering the entanglement – be prepared to live with it. Carrying a betrayal on your shoulders will only bring misery.

Our journey is ongoing but hopefully, in time you learn that each stroke is necessary for the work of art being created. You are worthy of a masterpiece. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.

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Photograph by The ABView Photography.