Is Forgiveness Necessary?

We all get hurt, sometime. Have you ever felt betrayed or lied to? Has anyone inflicted pain with words or actions? People are complicated beings with emotions that run deep.

I’ve been lucky to come across women that have shared their stories. Women like me who have experienced some of the most painful moments of love. They now look to reconcile or makes sense of the events that have taken place. How do you come to terms with a breach of trust or the uncovering a web of deception?

Years ago, someone’s selfish need to satisfy their ego created mayhem in my life. An indiscretion that caused a barrage of bullets perfectly aimed at my heart. There was a single casualty in the drama that unfolded. I was left with a broken spirit along with no trust for any man that stood on earth. The idea of forgiving someone who had wounded me so deeply seemed unthinkable.

Present day, I’m a different woman. Thankfully no longer burdened by anger, sadness and bitterness. I’ve freed myself from the shackles of resentment which bound me. This was only possible when I let go. The lesson in forgiveness has been invaluable. There was a hidden message within the cloud of fog. People are going to hurt you intentionally or unintentionally. We’re imperfect beings who make mistakes. The idea that hurt won’t ever come is unrealistic. There will be varying levels of pain caused by others but you’ll figure out what you can and can’t tolerate. Be wise, considerate and loving of yourself before granting such pardon. Of course, you aren’t a doormat to abuse. So, make sure you prioritize your feelings and self-worth. There will be times when someone is not deserving of your forgiveness.

In this instance, forgiveness had to take place for me. Being hurt by someone I loved so much jaded me for years. I built barriers high enough where the moat set around me made me untouchable. I couldn’t breathe happily carrying such heavy weight on my shoulders. Forgiving this person was the only way to free myself. It set the stage for healing to begin. Once this phase was completed, I realized forgiveness wasn’t about the offender. It wasn’t a matter of relieving this person of their shame or guilt for what was done. I had to forgive to find personal inner peace. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person. It’s about giving yourself permission to move on. It allows for room to grow and find strength to push onward to greener pastures.

Forgiveness takes incredible will as you rise above a situation. However, embracing it  leaves an imprint. Never easy but necessary you learn from it.  Helps make it easier to accept each person’s role in your development. You will be better for it.

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